1046, Restore the Home
Restore the Home
#1046
Study Given by W. D. Frazee—March 31, 1956
Clean Copy-Paste Transcript
Are you ready for Jesus to come? That is the introduction to our study this morning.
[Singing, “The Theme of the Bible is Jesus.”]
Amen. Let it be so, dear ones. May we be ready.
“And he shall go before Him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord” Luke 1:17.
Yes, thank the Lord, somebody is going to be ready when Jesus comes. He will not find the entire world unready. Most will be, but a few will be ready. Our text brings to view a work of preparation to make ready a people prepared for the Lord. I want to notice, this morning, more about that work of preparation. You notice, it’s said to be in the spirit and power of Elijah.
The first thing mentioned is to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and then the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.
You notice that there is something about the matter of the relation of parents and children which enters basically into the preparation for the coming of Jesus.
“Those who bear the last message of mercy to the world should feel it their duty to instruct parents in regard to home religion. The great reformatory movement must begin in presenting to fathers and mothers and children the principles of the law of God” Testimonies for the Church, Volume 6, page 119.
Notice the word “begin.” You can’t get back of the beginning. When you go to Genesis 1:1, and read, “In the beginning,” you can’t get any further back than that.
In this great reformatory movement which is to make ready, a people prepared for the Lord, inspiration both in the Bible and in the revelations of the Spirit of Prophecy teaches us that the place to begin is with the turning of the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the children to the fathers. And in that order.
There is a work that is to be done in the hearts of parents to fit them to stand in their families in the place of God, and thus cooperate with God in making ready a people prepared for the Lord. I’d like to notice that this is exactly what God wants parents to do.
“What is higher education? No education can be called higher education unless it bears the similitude of heaven, unless it leads young men and young women to be Christlike, and fits them to stand at the head of their families in the place of God” Fundamentals of Christian Education, page 467.
That doesn’t mean to be a popes. It doesn’t mean to be antichrist—sitting in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God. It doesn’t mean that at all.
But God has chosen to delegate some of His authority, some of His power and responsibility that goes with it, to fathers and mothers. He has chosen to do that, and the greatest respect we can show to God is to accept His arrangement in every manner.
Needless to say, we cannot improve on it. Lucifer has been trying that for six thousand years. Personally, I am not impressed with the showing he has made. Are you? I cannot see any system the Devil has established here on earth that I like.
Look over in India or China. Look down into Africa or the Islands of the sea. Look around us here in America and tell me what improvement the Devil has made on God’s plan. Every time the Devil has changed anything, he has spoiled it. Every time he has made what he calls improvement, it has been a perversion. There is no improvement to it.
The reason for that is very simple. God is infinite, and in His holy law, He has expressed His will, and the law of the Lord is perfect (Psalm 19:7). You cannot improve anything that is perfect. If you change it, it is no longer perfect.
Consequently, every change Lucifer has suggested has been degeneration rather than improvement. But do you know that the Devil has sold his package of goods to the world at large? The world believes to a greater or less extent that God’s way can be improved upon. We are told in Revelation 12:9 that Satan deceiveth the whole world.
I want you to think of what that means, friends. What does it mean to deceive? To fool you, that’s right. It means two things. It means to tell a lie, but tell it in such a way that people believe it. Otherwise, there is no deception. And the Devil is deceiving the whole world. That’s what the Bible says. If we believe the Bible, we must accept that as a statement of fact.
May I tell you, friends, in this matter of the family and the relationship of parents and children, the Devil has deceived the whole world? There is a great reformatory movement that must begin in the home in presenting to fathers and mothers and children the principles of the law of God. Dear friends, let us cooperate with God in that reformation. What do you say? Let’s do it. May I say this concerns everyone here this morning. If you’re a father, it concerns you. If you’re a mother, it concerns you. Children and young people, it concerns you. Older ones who are not parents, it concerns you. You have an influence. What you think affects other lives. There is no escaping it. And it is only as our thoughts are changed, and our attitudes are brought back into harmony with God’s program that we will be ready for the coming of Jesus.
Are you ready for Jesus to come? Oh friends, that this reformation beginning in our hearts and homes may spread and help in this blessed work of making ready a people prepared for the Lord.
I would like to notice what is involved in this work of reformation that centers in the home and how much depends upon it. I read of the great potential there is in this:
“The Christian home is to be an object-lesson, illustrating the excellence of the true principles of life. Far more powerful than any sermon that can be preached is the influence of a true home upon human hearts and lives” Ministry of Healing, page 352.
We have all heard sermons that have stirred our hearts and moved us to decision. We all thank God for the ministry of His Word. But I want to tell you something, friends, there is something that has greater power than any sermon. That is what I read here. What is it? The influence of a true Christian home. That’s the greatest sermon that can be preached.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your home could be like that? Well, it can. God has made full provision for it. All we have to do is accept His principles. Because obviously, we can never demonstrate the power of those principles unless it is those principles that are being demonstrated in the home.
An apparently successful home without these principles is a terrible thing. The more successful a home seems to be without these principles, the worse it is. In a sense, we can rejoice in the failure of every home that is built upon wrong principles. Rejoice only in the sense that it may be that some, by getting a stomach ache, will cease to eat green apples. Some, by being scratched by thorns and brambles, will learn to hate the Devil who caused those things.
No. The kind of home demonstration we need is the demonstration of true principles.
I want to look for a few moments this morning at one of the most successful homes the Bible tells about. We will read what the Lord says about Abraham:
“And the Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do: Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which He hath spoken of him” Genesis 18:17–19.
Notice that the fulfillment of the wonderful promises made to Abraham depended upon Abraham doing certain things. What were they? Commanding his children and his household after him. So, first of all, this morning, I would like to note the work of the father in the Christian household:
“Every member of the family centers in the father.... His name, ‘house-band,’ is the true definition of husband. He is the lawmaker, illustrating in his own manly bearing the sterner virtues, energy, integrity, honesty, and practical usefulness. The father is in one sense the priest of the household, laying upon the altar of God the morning and evening sacrifice, while the wife and children unite in prayer and praise. With such a household Jesus will tarry” Testimonies for the Church, Volume 1, page 547.
We want Jesus in our homes, don’t we? Now, did you notice several things said there about the father? What did it say the father is? He is the priest, the lawmaker. Did somebody say something else? He is the center, that’s right. Every member of the family centers in the father. His name, “house-band,” is the true definition of husband. He is the lawmaker and, in one sense, the priest of the household. Now dear friends, those who are fathers here this morning should magnify their office. They should appreciate the rare privilege, the high honor that God has bestowed upon them.
They do not have to boast. After all, friends, these statements that I’ve read, instead of inflating us, should humble us. Instead of causing us to be egotistical and bigoted, they should cause us to cry out to God, realizing that He alone can give us what it takes to carry out what is required here.
We are like empty cups. It is very fine when thirsty people are around, provided there is a source of water, and the cups get under the spout. Every man who carries these responsibilities in a family must be like that empty cup, going to God and being filled with that which is necessary to carry out this commission.
Men, God challenges you to come up to this high and holy responsibility. In carrying it out, we have some modern trends to work against that are tremendous.
Somebody has said that the 18th century brought the emancipation of man, the 19th century brought the emancipation of woman, and the 20th century brought the emancipation of the child.
That statement viewed from the standpoint of the historian is probably quite an accurate generalization. The American Revolution that brought freedom to this country, the French Revolution that overturned the throne there, and the influences set in motion back there brought freedom to men that they were no longer serfs. In many countries, that was true.
In the last century, the movements for women’s suffrage and all that went with it have lifted women far above the place of a slave in many lands and many homes.
In recent decades, we have witnessed both in laws passed and the attitudes of the people a great change toward the child. It used to be considered that children were more or less the property of the father. He could do as he pleased with them.
In some places today it is almost impossible for a father to exercise very much discipline without being criticized roundly by surrounding people. The tender hearts of people seem to go out to the poor little children, and as a result, they are left to grow up pretty much as they please.
It’s a great kind of charity, a queer kind of pity overlooking, as the Devil would have it, the fundamental fact that in the plan of God that authority and affection must be blended.
God is not dispensing love without discipline. God is not interested in love without law. That’s sentimentalism. The world is full of it today. And in no place do we see a greater demonstration of the futility of Satan’s plans than in the home today. Without authority based upon the mandate of Jehovah, no amount of what is called love can be successful in getting people ready for Heaven, or even for success in this world.
“Let authority and affection be blended. They are in the character of God. ‘God is love.’ 1 John 4:8. But love includes justice as well as mercy. It includes firmness as well as kindness. There is law. There is pardon. But pardon does not set aside law, and love does not set aside justice. And the father, standing in the place of God, is to represent to his family those blended attributes which are seen in their perfection in God alone” Evangelism, page 582.
Oh friends, what a challenge and responsibility! Now, I want to read this statement again:
“A father must not be as a child, moved merely by impulse. He is bound to his family by sacred, holy ties. Every member of the family centers in the father…” Testimonies for the Church, Volume 1, page 547.
I pause to say, I wonder if with all our vaunted progress in civilization that this program that takes the father away so much from his home and family and puts him out where he sees neither his wife nor children for many of his waking hours day after day is designed to make ready a people prepared for the Lord. How every father should cherish the opportunities to be with his wife and children. How those opportunities should be made the most of. “Every member of the family centers in the father. His name, ‘house-band,’ is the true definition of husband. He is the lawmaker, illustrating in his own manly bearing the sterner virtues, energy, integrity, honesty, and practical usefulness. The father is in one sense the priest of the household, laying upon the altar of God the morning and evening sacrifice, while the wife and children unite in prayer and praise…” Ibid.
Who should lead out? Whose is the primary responsibility in making the home a spiritual home? The father.
Do you notice the popular opinion that Sunday school is for women and children? That expresses it in one sentence—Sunday school is for women and children. That’s what the church is for. And the Devil has sold that idea to millions of people. He has pictured religion as something more or less soft. And a lot of it is soft, friends, even to the point of being mushy.
What the religious experiences of many people need and many homes need is exactly what the father, blessed by God, can bring into it. What is it?
“He is the lawmaker, illustrating in his own manly bearing the sterner virtues, energy, integrity, honesty, and practical usefulness” Ibid.
Well now, let me tell you, friends, any man who dares try it has a battle on his hands if not in his home, at least in society around him. Any man who dares try it is going to be criticized as taking too much authority into his hands.
You know, that’s what the people said about Moses in leading the children of Israel. They came and said, “Moses, you take too much on you. The congregation can handle things themselves. They don’t need all your authority. You are just taking on yourself more than you need to. Things would run better without your meddling.”
I want to ask you, friends, will the wife and children who are imbued with the Holy Spirit oppose or welcome the exercise of leadership and authority that God has delegated to the husband and father? Obviously, if they are being led by the Spirit, they will cooperate with it. If they are not, they will show either a spirit of defiance or a spirit of subterfuge or evasion. That’s what is wrecking thousands of homes today.
If we are to get ready for the coming of Jesus, there must be in every heart a longing to know the will of God and a cooperation in carrying out that will. If we do what I have been reading:
“With such a household Jesus will tarry, and through His quickening influence the parent’s joyful exclamations shall yet be heard amid more exalted scenes, saying: ‘Behold, I and the children whom the Lord hath given me’” Ibid. Oh friends, I want that experience, don’t you? I want to see every family here this morning having that experience.
Now in the verse we’ve read in Genesis 18, God says, “I know Abraham. I can count on him. He will…” do what? “…command his children and his household after him.” Notice it does not say he will coax them. It doesn’t say he will bribe them. It doesn’t say he will threaten them. It doesn’t say that he will argue with them. It doesn’t say he will maneuver things around to get them to do things he wants them to do without their even knowing they were told to do it.
That is supposed to be the modern way of dealing with children, you know. Put something they need with something they like. That way, they will be sure to eat it and get their minerals and vitamins without any difficulty at all.
It is old-fashioned today, in fact, so old-fashioned some people never seem to have heard of it, that a child should obey because he should obey, but that’s the doctrine of the Bible. And God is going to have some families today who will demonstrate that principle. Oh friends, I hope every woman here this morning, every wife and mother will appreciate the importance of recognizing God’s plan and give it full support.
“Ah but,” somebody says, “but if father would only be nicer in the way he does it, then it would be easier. But father is so strict and even mean about it sometimes. So I think that the poor children need to get some loving somewhere.”
All right. So you’re going to give it to them and separate the child from the father. God pity you. Do you remember a serpent who stole into Eden and suggested that God was arbitrary and that he, the serpent, was more interested in their welfare than God was? There is many a serpent in homes today, breaking it down, breaking it apart with the subtle suggestion that bad daddy spanks baby. Mama won’t let him spank baby.
What kind of influence is that? Sometimes it’s worded exactly like I have said it. Other times, it isn’t worded that way, but that is what it means. And there are a thousand variations on that theme.
Another variation on it is, “We had better not tell daddy about this because he might not like it. Here is some money and you can do something with it. Here’s something that you want, and you can have it. Here is something you want to do and we will arrange it. But we must not tell daddy because he might not like it.”
What is that teaching? That is teaching insubordination, which is the very thing Lucifer lost Heaven over. It’s breaking down the foundation of authority.
“Ah but,” somebody says, “Brother Frazee, there are a lot of men who may be supposed to stand in the place of God who are not like God at all.”
That’s true, friends. They’ll have to answer to God for that too. But I want to say to you that even though we do not have perfect fathers, breaking down their authority before the children are not going to improve a bad situation. It’s only going to make it worse.
Rather let wife and children come close to the father who has burdens and problems, and who may have serious faults, and say, “Daddy, we love you and are going to help you. We know God expects you to lead out, and we are going to cooperate with you. We are going to pray for you. We are going to make your work as easy as possible instead of as easy as hard as possible.”
God will bless that sort of attitude, my friends. He certainly will.
I want to turn now to Ephesians the fifth chapter, and I want to notice some more instructions to fathers:
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies” Ephesians 5:25–28.
What a wonderful figure, friends. What a wonderful symbol, a wonderful illustration. God takes the union of marriage and uses it as the representation of the union of Himself and His church. The husband and father then, in exercising the authority of God, must show the love of God.
Without that, he can never succeed. Never, never. God forbid that any man should try to be the lawgiver without also being the love maker. Law and love must be combined. Authority must be blended with affection.
In the book Adventist Home, page 212, we have a beautiful picture of the father acting in this work and the mother in his absence. This brings me to the next point which I’m very anxious to make clear this morning, for there are many broken and divided homes in this hour in which we live.
When the father is gone, either through death or otherwise—when there is no father in the family, or if he is away for a week or a day or an hour—whenever the rather is not acting, whether it’s permanently or just for an hour, the mother must recognize that she has not only her own place to fill but that of the father too. That’s very important. The home, in other words, must never be left at loose ends. There must always be a house-band. And God will help the mother to fill that place if the father is not there to fill it.
I have a serious question in my own mind, how much is God going to help the wife fill that place if the husband is there? But where there’s a need, where the husband is absent, then the mother should at once recognize that she is in charge and should take over the full responsibility of seeing that authority, as well as affection, is being manifested. This is 212 of Adventist Home. Now, this is similar to the one that I read in Volume 1, but it’s a different quotation, and it comes to something that I haven’t read before:
“All members of the family center in the father. He is the lawmaker, illustrating in his own manly bearing the sterner virtues. The father is in one sense the priest of the household, laying upon the altar of God the morning and evening sacrifice. The wife and children should be encouraged to unite in this offering, and also to engage in the song of praise. Morning and evening the father, as priest of the household, should confess to God the sins committed by himself and his children through the day. This rule of action, zealously carried out by the father when he is present, or by the mother when he is absent, will result in blessings to the family” Adventist Home, page 212.
Do you see the point, friends? Here it comes, time for the morning sacrifice. The father is absent. We have no priest this morning, so we can’t have any sacrifice. Is that it? Oh no. The mother is appointed by God to go right ahead. And many a home would never have family worship unless the mother went right ahead.
Thank God for mothers who will try, with God’s help, to fill the double place of mother and father. And dear women who have that need and that opportunity, be assured that for you there is a double portion of the Spirit. Never doubt it. God will help you. Wrestle with Him in prayer.
But remember, that calls for you to cultivate not merely the mercy and tenderness and long-suffering and kindness and gentleness, but you, in a special sense, must cultivate the exercise of firmness, authority, and strict requirements. It is necessary. You must do it, and God will help you to do it.
“This rule of action, zealously carried out by the father when he is present, or by the mother when he is absent, will result in blessings to the family” Ibid.
Isn’t that wonderful, friends? So thank God that when the father is away from home either permanently or temporarily, or when because he does not know God and cannot or will not take his position as priest of the household, then under any of those circumstances, the mother must recognize that she is chosen and delegated of God.
Now, what about the children? I want you to look at the Ten Commandments with me for a few moments. They are found in Exodus 20, but you know them by heart. Suppose we had them written up here this morning on the two tables. [Elder Frazee writes on the chalkboard] One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Is that the way that they are? Four on the first table and six on the last.
I wonder why they’re on two tables? Because the law is divided into two parts. The first relates to our duty to God, and the second relates to our duty to our fellow men. I want you children to notice something very interesting that I’m coming to in a minute. At the beginning of each table, of course, there is a commandment. Whenever there is a series of anything, there is always one that starts. God didn’t just scatter out the commandments hit and miss. There is a divine sequence and order in the commandments.
The reason the First Commandment on the first table is first is that it is first. The reason that this one over here on the second table is first is that it is first. Let’s look at it for a minute, and you’ll see what I mean. Repeat the First Commandment with me:
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me” Exodus 20:3.
Why is that first? Because the first thing to settle in any commandment is who has the authority. Who is going to be obeyed? That’s the first thing to establish. God does not purpose to waste his time in speaking any other commandment unless you have first heard and accepted the First Commandment.
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me” Exodus 20:3.
In other words, do you accept God as of supreme authority? That’s the First Commandment. If you do, then you are bound to listen to and obey all the rest. Is that clear? That relates to all ten of them.
Now let’s notice the Fifth Commandment. We have passed from the duties directly related to God and are dealing with the duties relating to our fellow men. There are millions of people in this world. How should we relate ourselves to them all? Let me tell you, the first thing to settle is where authority lies. Now, will you repeat the Fifth Commandment with me, children, and everybody else who wants to join in? All the children, lead out:
“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” Exodus 20:12.
Do you see, dear children, the first thing to settle in your dealings with life and people around you is where authority is. According to this commandment, it’s where? It’s with father and mother. And you are to do, what? Honor them. It includes obedience, but it includes more than obedience. It includes living the life that brings honor to them. It includes doing not only what they say but thinking of what will please them even when they don’t tell you and choosing to do it for Jesus’ sake and their sake.
Dear Children, whom God is preparing to act a part in His closing work, remember it is written in Revelation 14:12, concerning those who welcome Jesus when He comes:
“Here is the patience of the saints. Here are they that keep the commandments of God and the faith of Jesus” Revelation 14:12. Will children be in that group? Will they be keeping the commandments? Will they keep the Fifth Commandment? Oh yes. They will bring joy and honor to their parents. For such children, God is waiting.
And so this morning, friends, I am so glad we can together study deeper into this science of the Christian home where love and law are blended, where authority with affection reign. Jesus had this attitude toward His earthly parents. Until He was 30 years of age, He was subject to them, bearing the burdens of the home life and helping to support the family.
Such a program produced that wonderful character that all the universe marveled at. And such a program develops characters today that reflect the image of Jesus fully, and through them, God will finish His work.
[A testimony service is announced, but it didn’t get recorded.]
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